Have you tried self-reflection during quarantine?
No one was ever ready for what’s happening right now in the world. We all made big plans for 2020 because we believed that it was going to be better than 2019. Maybe it’s just a myth that years only get better as we live rather than worse.
But what can we do? Dreams are put on hold and this is the harsh reality we all have to face. Being alone for a long time can be psychologically bad. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to be done because self-isolation is the only way to be safe from covid19. So in the meantime you can try something new and beneficial to your wellness. Try self-reflection.
It is a serious thought about your character and action. During this time you ruminate all about your decisions, mistakes and unfortunate events in order to draw necessary judgment about the life you’re leading. This process include unfolding your past, grey or white and then solving every issue that you chose to leave behind unsolved.
The importance of self-reflection
Reflecting on yourself will help to lift off the burden that you have been carrying day by day. Sometimes you get caught up in your work and other affairs that easily draw your attention from yourself. Thus you most likely end up neglecting your existence without even realizing it. And that’s because it’s easier for humans to invest their focus on unnecessary things rather than themselves.
But then again, the most obvious factor that leads you to not attend to yourself it’s because you don’t know the importance of it. Occasionally you make mistakes. Well, at least that’s the nature of a person to make mistakes in order to learn. Your mistakes range from small to huge, yet they are still counted as a burden if they aren’t solved.
It’s not always that you can learn from your mistakes or fix them so that they don’t affect you in the future. Once these unsolved issues start to pile up, they become a burden that affects your daily living. And unless you reflect on this issues you’ll keep on pulling lot of strain that will become part of you.
1. Relax in a quiet space
Like meditation, you have to find a space that invites comfort and relax there. It can be in the garden, by the window or on the swing, as long as you feel free around. Avoid any type of noise such as music because it will draw your attention away. You have to be all by yourself so that you don’t feel distracted when you start unlocking all the memories that trigger all your different emotions.
I always prefer lying on the bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. It helps me decide which issue I want to digest firstly. Sometimes I may close my eyes, because it helps me feel like I’ve turned up the volume of my inner thoughts. And from there, I like to go with the flow.
2. Assess your mistakes
As much as it’s difficult for most people to identify their mistakes and feel guilty, it is crucial to admit your wrongs so you can make them right. Remember, you cannot solve anything you believe it is not wrong. Put yourself in other people’s shoes and think of how they felt about your actions.
You probably know that most people would’ve disagreed or corrected you. It’s okay to agree with their opinions as long as these opinions help you see the other side of your actions that you couldn’t see for so long. Let go of your pride and admit to yourself that you were wrong. Feel guilty as much as you want. It is your responsibility to react to your mistakes.
3. Be your own critic
Self-reflection is way more than just going through a careful thought about your actions. It is always about making the worse judgment to your wrong-doings. The reason why people have unsolved issues it’s because they don’t want to regret it. You’re often told to live a life without regrets. And I can assure you that a life without regrets is unhealthy and deceiving.
Sometimes in life you have to regret what you did in order to not repeat it again. Call yourself with all the names that you feel like you deserve. If you feel like you need to hate yourself for what you did, go on and do it quickly. Speak out candidly about how you’re disappointed in yourself. You deserve to hear the truth. It isn’t self-hate or low esteem. It is called being true to yourself.
You can’t carry on lying to yourself that you aren’t ashamed of our actions simply because you’re protecting your ego. You are ruining yourself for embracing your irresponsibility and ignorance. Only narcists feel good about themselves always. You’re not a narcist. You’re normal and you deserve the truth even if it cuts you deep and make you feel worthless.
4. Let out your emotions
Now if your own worse critics make you want to cry, be free to the tears out. If you want to scream, put the pillow on your face and scream as loud as you can. Never hurt yourself physically because you’re too mad at yourself. Only the punching bag and the pillow can take a good beating.
I prefer crying to let every pain out of my system. Sometimes I even tear the magazines. It helps a lot, because when I finish letting out my fury everything fades away; the guilty and the pain. You will learn how to deal with your emotions one-on-one without anyone consoling you.
It is not always necessary to confide on someone when you feel emotional. Self-reflection should be about you alone. No one should console you that it is going to be okay unless you start feeling so. Take all your time letting the anger, guilt and shame out so that tomorrow you will not have to cry over the same thing again. You don’t deserve imprisoning yourself in your emotions forever.
5. Find resolution
Last but certainly not the least, fix yourself. You have admitted your mistakes, criticized your actions and put the blame on you. That’s enough. This is the part where you do the healing and learning. Forgive yourself for what you have done before you can forget.
There is nothing more you can do. The truth is you can never go back to the past and manipulate your actions. What has happened is now in the past that you can no longer change. Life took its course and you have taken your time to confront the unsolved issues.
Decide how you want to be from now on. Your action in the present and the future shouldn’t be similar to what you have criticize yourself for. Be the best version of you that you’re certainly going to be proud of. Take full control of your own actions. But most importantly learn to never leave any issue unsolved.
Word of the day
You can never succeed in deciding what you want to be if you’re afraid to confront what you are now.
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